Frustration

I've been having a rough time these last few months.  Our schedules have been crazy, yes, but that's not the cause this time.  It's not the extra activities, commitments, or lack of time.  It's food.  More specifically it is trying to justify and convince myself that the way we are eating is right for our family.  It's about seeing the need in the world, the millions who live without enough food, and the homeless in my own city who go hungry more nights than they are fed.  It's about wrestling with all of these things when I look at how much money we now spend on groceries.  Don't get me wrong, for the size family we have we spend very little on groceries compared to most (and even less when you consider our dietary restrictions--currently that means gluten and milk intollerance).

It's becoming very difficult for me to reason spending so much money on our specialty diets since we don't have specific diagnoses from doctor's (we do on the milk, not gluten--though our doctor has noticed an improvement). It's hard for me to justify eating things that cost 2-3 times more than "normal" food and it has me second guessing the improvements we have seen in our families health.  I will admit that, as a family, we cheat.  My son...definitely not cheating (too much of a difference).  However, my husband and I...well, we aren't the most devout to our new dietary restrictions.  Maybe it's the frustration in having to explain it to people who think they know better what is healthy for us.  Maybe it's the huge associations we have between food and good memories (or any memories in some cases).

For me, I felt a few months ago that I could no longer tax our families meager food budget by continuing to eat gluten free (and I REALLY missed bread).  So I began buying flour tortillas and bread for myself to make sandwiches quickly during the day.  I eat off diet at least 2 meals almost every day (usually not dinner because I make it gluten free and I only cook 1 dinner).  I know that it will make me sick...I will have more headaches than usual, be more tired, and sick to my stomach most of the day.  But I can deal, or so I tell myself.  "The symptoms aren't *that* bad for me," I say.  But when I really think about it and analyze how I felt before I started cheating and how I feel now I do see a difference.  And I wish that wasn't true.

I guess I'm really just frustrated with myself...and God.  Why does my body not work like "normal"?  Why would God make us go through something that strains our budget even more and makes us increasingly suspect of our tithe?  Why am I so tired all the time if I'm doing what you want me to do, God?

Sounds silly, doesn't it?  It does to me.  I know that God doesn't bring anything upon us that He won't also help us walk through.  Not by my own strength, but by His.  He brings us through these situations not to bring glory to who we are and how strong I am, but to show how good He is.  How strong He can be for us when we have no strength left.  Having faith in this is something I struggle with every.single.day.  Most days....I "win" and give in to the struggle, frustration, and cheating.  No one is perfect, but in our imperfection God shines.  So why do we choose over and over to deprive Him of this?  Why do I choose over and over to put my own comfort/desires ahead of God's?  Do I really think I can do such a better job at running my own life? If my past is any consideration I should have been assured of that a LONG time ago.

But knowing this, knowing the physical tole gluten and sugar take on my body, and knowing how much my attitude changes with these things in my system...I am still frustrated.  I still feel "better" eating sandwiches every day and saving money for those who really *need* the diet (my oldest son and husband).  Boy, it's amazing what I can talk myself into.  I wonder sometimes, like today, how long it will take me of being sick and frustrated, to truly lay these things down.  To really allow God to help me walk through this new life and be successfully because of His power and provision.

Stone Soup

Have you ever read the book Stone Soup?

I loved this book as a kid and was pleased to discover that the author of Miserly Meals: Healthy, Tasty Recipes Under 75¢ per Serving* also has a daughter who enjoyed this book and created a recipe to go along with it! I don't add the stone and I've made a few other changes, but it's become one of my favorite dinners to make and one of my husbands favorites to eat!

Stone Soup
2 T butter
1/2 c diced onion
1/2 c diced celery
1 c sliced carrots
2 gloves minced/pressed garlic
1 t sage
1 t basil
10 c water
1/3 c chicken bouillon
3 med brown potatoes, peeled and diced
salt and pepper to taste
1 c cooked chicken/turkey (optional)

1.  Melt butter over med-high heat and sautee onion, celery and carrots.  When onion becomes almost translucent, add garlic, sage, and basil; sautee until garlic starts to brown.
2.  Add water, bouillon, salt/pepper and potatoes.  (Add chicken now also if you're using it)
3.  Bring to a boil, reduce to low and cook approx 30 minutes (until potatoes and carrots are tender).
4.  Remove from heat and serve.


I really love this recipe because it is really cheap in most seasons to find the veggies, you can substitute homemade chicken stock for the water and bouillon and use up some leftover shredded/chopped chicken/turkey.  Or you can leave the meat out for an even cheaper soup!

Sometimes we pair this with a half a sandwich or grilled cheese (when we were still eating bread)...made for a really nice supper!  This also reheats well for lunch the next day :)

*I really enjoyed this cookbook and make quite a few things from it on a fairly consistent basis.  It has recipes for things like hot fudge sauce, chocolate sauce, homemade chicken bouillon powder, etc.  I found it at our library and would definitely recommend it to someone looking for a cookbook to start making more things from scratch.

Getting Good Deals Online...that Works for Me

I don't do a LOT of online shopping, but it is a great tool to use to help find things cheaper than in a brick and mortar store.  One of my favorite sites lately has been Amazon.com.  Lately, I have found some GREAT deals on there that I have been wanting to share with everyone so that you can also find great deals and save some money!  Here are three ways I have saved money with Amazon in the last few months.

1. Gift Cards
• The best way I have found to get gift cards is through Swagbucks.  All you do is sign up on swagbucks and use it as your search engine.  You earn swagbucks for searches (though not everyone) and there are a variety of other ways to earn swagbucks on the site if you want to really get into it.  For every 450 swagbucks you earn, you can redeem it for a $5 Amazon gift card (FYI: You can redeem these for other things or use them to enter drawings, this is just how *I* use them).  I can earn 450 usually in about 2 months...it's not a lot, but it helps me get free or discounted things on Amazon.
• Another way to get gift cards is to request them as birthday or holiday gifts (I do this since I also have a Kindle and can buy books with them) and I even found a Groupon deal for a gift card to amazon (paid $10 for a $20 gift card)!  You can sign up for swagbucks HERE and Groupon HERE.  (Disclaimer: I do get a referral bonus if you subscribe through my links for Swagbucks and Groupon.
2. Subscribe and Save.  Amazon runs deals where you get an additional % off (usually 15%) if you subscribe to have the items shipped to you regularly (this can be monthly, every other month, every 6 months, etc).  You can go in and change your subscription at any time and even turn it off (meaning they won't ship again until you tell them to).
3. Amazon Moms.  This is a new program they are offering to moms and other caregivers.  You get a discount on all baby items, free Super Saver (2-day) shipping for a few months, and other perks!  It costs nothing to sign up and has been WELL worth it for us!

How has this worked for me?
Here are a few examples.

1. I had had my eye on a few kitchen gadgets that I just couldn't bring myself to spend money on b/c I felt they "weren't essential", but didn't feel bad buying with gift cards.  I bought a cheese planer and garlic press for free!  I also bought this quirky "action figure" as a Christmas present for a friend of ours (who, incidentally, looks just like this action figure).  All FREE with Swagbucks gift cards.
2. I ordered 2 new wet bags and a toy hammock with a $10 off coupon I got in a magazine for any baby item through Amazon (I think it was in Baby Talk) and my Groupon card.  This entire order was also FREE! 
3. I ordered some coconut oil (great for baking) using Subscribe and Save which got me an extra 15% off.  Total purchase was $11.51 for two containers with free 2-day shipping (b/c I signed up with Amazon Mom).
4. Luvs diapers (since we're using sposies while I'm in classes).
• Size 2 diapers:  normally $35.54 for 228 diapers.  Discounted 15% for subscribe and save, additional $15% for Amazon Mom subscribers, and free shipping (also from Amazon Mom)...brought my total to $24.88!
• Size 4 diapers:  Normally $34.54 for 180 diapers.  Discounted 15% for subscribe and save, additional 15% for Amazon Mom, and free shipping...brought my total to $24.18!
5. Pregnancy tests are expensive, but I found this package of 25 for $5.36 and ended up only paying $1.25 with gift cards.  If I only use 2 ever I will have paid myself back :)

This has definitely helped me save money on Amazon purchases in just a few easy (and mostly free)!

This has been posted as part of Works For Me Wednesday over at We are THAT Family.