Parenting is a Marathon, not a Series of Sprints

I haven't written in quite some time.  Today, I just wanted to take a chance to sit down and pour out some things I've been thinking about (and need to remember in the future).

It's so much easier to "run" life like a sprint.

Going from one new idea to another, well, that compliments my ADD perfectly!  Looking at something and saying, "that would be great right now"...that's how I operate, but it's not always best.  Some of my "sprint" ideas turn out pretty well...for instance I decided to do the Bible in 90 Days program...while it is definitely taking me longer than 90 days I did just go for it and I've done much better than I normally do with reading plans like this!

However, sprinting encourages me to be nearsighted and not to pay attention to what the real finish line looks like.  Most recently this has been with regards to parenting.

***For the record, if I describe a way you are parenting as something that doesn't work for my "marathon" intentions, please don't think I dislike what you are doing.  Not every situation or choice is good for all kids or all families.  I have to do what is best for MY kids and MY family.  No judgement toward your decisions is implied.***

Parenting is far more difficult than you can ever fathom before you become a parent...at least that's been my experience.  It's not that it's tough changing diapers, making sure they get fed, playing with your kids, etc.   (well, sometimes it is).  But being responsible for them...well that's the toughie for me!  Not just responsible that they are still breathing at the end of the day, keep all their teeth, and don't break too many bones...but responsible for the kind of adult they turn out to be.  Responsible for whether or not they turn out to be responsible, productive citizens.  Yikes!  That's enough to make me want to run in the other direction most days.

Lots of things come up that sound like great experiences or opportunities...
YMCA youth soccer starts at age 3...Carter will be 3 in August.
Preschool starts at age 4 and can be done 1/2 days every day, two days a week, at home, or not at all.
Language immersion schools, charter schools, moving to better public school districts, homeschooling, unschooling...
Is your head spinning like mine?  It's so easy for me to think about the benefits these can offer to my child(ren).

Wow...they could be potty trained already!  Yep I know a lady who's potty training an 11 month old yet my 1 and 2 year olds are no where near that.

They could be fluent in two languages...awesome!  Sign me up!

They could get to run after a ball with no clue they are actually playing a game let alone a sport...sounds so cute and fun!

They should know all their letters before they start school, be able to read chapter books by 1st grade, AND know how to tie their shoes!  Why don't we start them younger than 4! Wait...isn't that the point of kindergarten?

How many science projects should my child do in kindergarten?  Did I even DO science in kindergarten?!?!?

These are all thoughts that have swirled around in my head over the last few months.  It's overwhelming, to say the least.  But to put it all in perspective I have to remember that my children's lives aren't about ANY of this!  It's not about who can sing their ABC's first, read the youngest, speak the most languages, or be a soccer star at 4.  It's about the end result...the adults they grow up to be.  It's about being conscious of the character traits I'm instilling in them now, the ones I will continue to work on as they understand more, and the entirety of their raising.  That's what matters.  Not how many new toys they have, clubs they join, or sports they play now.  Not how many classic novels they read before 3rd grade.

The marathon takes more training, more patience, more stamina.  It takes all of my heart, brain, and so much grace from God.  It takes me putting aside what I *think* my kids should be doing right now...because that's usually based on what others are telling me they should do or what I see other kids doing.  I need to focus on what they *need* in the long term.  My kids, in my opinion, need to see their parents in love, to see their parents worshiping God and studying His word, to learn what God wants for all of us.  And they need some more practical things like to know how to handle money (and not just how to spend it like it's going out of style), to be gracious to others, to show compassion, to serve, to do basic math, to enjoy reading, and, yes, to tie their shoes (velcro seems hard to come by as an adult).

The marathon is the difficult path to choose.  The marathon requires patience--something many are in short supply of, including myself.  The marathon requires commitment and taking time to see where the finish line really is and then to try to figure out the best way to move toward it.  The sprint isn't easy, by any means, but it's over quickly.  And then on to another, and another, and another.  The marathon isn't short bursts of the next-best-thing, it's a prolonged sense of what is truly important.

And...this is important...it seems to be slightly different for each and every child and family.  Your marathon will look different than mine.  Henry's might look different than Carter's.  But it's still important to try and figure out what it looks like and then, the hard part, how to learn to be content with the path you've chosen.

Frustration

I've been having a rough time these last few months.  Our schedules have been crazy, yes, but that's not the cause this time.  It's not the extra activities, commitments, or lack of time.  It's food.  More specifically it is trying to justify and convince myself that the way we are eating is right for our family.  It's about seeing the need in the world, the millions who live without enough food, and the homeless in my own city who go hungry more nights than they are fed.  It's about wrestling with all of these things when I look at how much money we now spend on groceries.  Don't get me wrong, for the size family we have we spend very little on groceries compared to most (and even less when you consider our dietary restrictions--currently that means gluten and milk intollerance).

It's becoming very difficult for me to reason spending so much money on our specialty diets since we don't have specific diagnoses from doctor's (we do on the milk, not gluten--though our doctor has noticed an improvement). It's hard for me to justify eating things that cost 2-3 times more than "normal" food and it has me second guessing the improvements we have seen in our families health.  I will admit that, as a family, we cheat.  My son...definitely not cheating (too much of a difference).  However, my husband and I...well, we aren't the most devout to our new dietary restrictions.  Maybe it's the frustration in having to explain it to people who think they know better what is healthy for us.  Maybe it's the huge associations we have between food and good memories (or any memories in some cases).

For me, I felt a few months ago that I could no longer tax our families meager food budget by continuing to eat gluten free (and I REALLY missed bread).  So I began buying flour tortillas and bread for myself to make sandwiches quickly during the day.  I eat off diet at least 2 meals almost every day (usually not dinner because I make it gluten free and I only cook 1 dinner).  I know that it will make me sick...I will have more headaches than usual, be more tired, and sick to my stomach most of the day.  But I can deal, or so I tell myself.  "The symptoms aren't *that* bad for me," I say.  But when I really think about it and analyze how I felt before I started cheating and how I feel now I do see a difference.  And I wish that wasn't true.

I guess I'm really just frustrated with myself...and God.  Why does my body not work like "normal"?  Why would God make us go through something that strains our budget even more and makes us increasingly suspect of our tithe?  Why am I so tired all the time if I'm doing what you want me to do, God?

Sounds silly, doesn't it?  It does to me.  I know that God doesn't bring anything upon us that He won't also help us walk through.  Not by my own strength, but by His.  He brings us through these situations not to bring glory to who we are and how strong I am, but to show how good He is.  How strong He can be for us when we have no strength left.  Having faith in this is something I struggle with every.single.day.  Most days....I "win" and give in to the struggle, frustration, and cheating.  No one is perfect, but in our imperfection God shines.  So why do we choose over and over to deprive Him of this?  Why do I choose over and over to put my own comfort/desires ahead of God's?  Do I really think I can do such a better job at running my own life? If my past is any consideration I should have been assured of that a LONG time ago.

But knowing this, knowing the physical tole gluten and sugar take on my body, and knowing how much my attitude changes with these things in my system...I am still frustrated.  I still feel "better" eating sandwiches every day and saving money for those who really *need* the diet (my oldest son and husband).  Boy, it's amazing what I can talk myself into.  I wonder sometimes, like today, how long it will take me of being sick and frustrated, to truly lay these things down.  To really allow God to help me walk through this new life and be successfully because of His power and provision.

I'm taking a break from posting about food to discuss something that has been weighing on me for the last few days.  I'd love your input and advice if you care to share :)

Is tithing ever considered irresponsible stewardship?

Let me explain.  In Luke 21 we read the story of the widow who gave her last two coins as a tithe to the temple.

" As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury.  He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins.  'Truly I tell you,' he said, 'this poor widow has put in more than all the others.  All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on"  Luke 21: 1-4

This verse, in my experience, is generally given as a message of how we should "give until it hurts" or how even the smallest gift, if given in the right spirit, it glorifying to God.  I've always like this story because I feel it gives a nice picture of sacrificial love...we love God so much (and appreciate Him so much) that we are willing to give all we have.  However, now that I feel like I'm closer to being in the widow's position...well, I don't know how to feel.  Do I tithe more and depend on God to provide for things like bills, food, etc?  Or is God already providing for these things through the money we receive from the job He brought to my husband?

My inclination is to say that we should tithe and then God will provide for us, but is that being unwise?  Is that ever possible?  Malachi 3 gives us a story where God says that if the people will return to tithing he will bless them beyond measure.  Does that mean the same is true of me?  Was this specific to this group of people only who had made a covenant with God to tithe and then left their end unfulfilled?

And then there is the question of how much we should tithe.  Is it 10%?  More?  Do we give all we can or only a certain amount?  Are we falling through on our commitment to give less than 10%?

I know that much of this is personal.  And as Americans and Christians we don't like to discuss money...especially what we are giving to the church.  But the story of the widow comes to mind again.  Everyone saw what she was giving (or at least that's the impression I always have)....are we supposed to be giving in a more public way?  Should we be encouraging others to give without knowing their specific circumstance?  Should we expect "blessings" from giving and, if so, by what yard stick to we measure blessing?

I've never bought into the "prosperity gospel" hype.  The thought that if I tithe the way I'm "supposed" to then God will bless me with things like BMW's, wealth, a nice house, college funds for my kids, etc.  Where is that in the Bible?  Like I said, I've never bought into this line of thinking.  In Malachi God's blessings are considered extra food.  And when the Israelites were wandering in the desert, God provided manna to eat.  Does that mean I should live off rice and beans and give more money to my church?  Do I measure blessings based on how our society does (which seems eerily similar to many prosperity gospel types like Joel Osteen, Creflo Dollar, and Joyce Meyer)...or based on the Bible?  Jesus didn't guarantee housing, money, food, or possessions to his disciples.  Should I expect more just because I live now and here (21st century America) or should we still evaluate our standing based on what these men were promised?

I certainly don't expect answers on here, but hope that this will encourage us all to consider how we view tithing.  I know that God is still working in me and my husband regarding this issue.  It's something that I think we all need to re-examine from time to time to make sure we are still in line with what God is calling us to.  I also think we need to all be more intentional about thinking about these issues and talking about them...especially with our church family.  If we can't be open and honest with our church family...then who can we be honest with?

Milestones and Memories :)

Yesterday my little monkey turned 2!  It was amazing to think back on the last few years and what a whirlwind they have truly been.  To see how much Carter has changed from the tiny NICU baby to the big boy he is now and especially with all of the things he has started doing in the last few weeks.

In the last few weeks he has grown 2 shoe sizes, started climbing (on everything), discovered that he can swing on the shopping cart handles, and has discovered what seems like an ENTIRELY new vocabulary...it's amazing!  We've gone through our share of struggles over the last two years and it was odd to think back over them.  My mind kept returning to different issues throughout the day as we celebrated.  Also, I kept looking back over the journey I have been on in my relationship with God over the last few years.

God has brought me WAY out of what I felt my comfort zone was.  Being raised in an environment where divorce was something that was common, men were absentee in their kids lives, and *knowing* that I never wanted to stay home with kids.  From that God brought me to a wonderful husband who I trust completely, feeling now as if divorce shouldn't be an option except in the worst of situations, a wonderful husband who is an amazingly loving and present father to our children, and loving every minute of being able to spend every day with my beautiful boys!  It's so amazing.  And the work that God has been doing in me and my husband's hearts just in the last year has left us both feeling a bit raw yet renewed at the same time!  Our priorities and values have shifted somewhere over the last four years and we both now feel like we are truly giving ourselves to God to use as He sees fit.  I have to say that while so many people think Christianity is restrictive and full of rules, we have seen the opposite in our lives--truly feeling freedom!  It's funny to look back at the things that were important and now see them as trivial.  To be in a situation that you've been in before and have a completely different outlook and reaction.  God has been so faithful to my prayers for peace and in giving me the knowledge that we are headed in the right direction.

This peace has so seamlessly transferred into parenting that it shocks me sometimes.  When I go out with the boys I get a lot of stares and comments about how full my hands must be, but what I think (and rarely say) is how there is no way I could accomplish this on my own.  But through God's strength I can lead these little boys in the right path for them.  It may not look like what other people do or what other people think is important.  But I know that it is right and it gives me so much confidence as a mother!  Not to say that there aren't struggles or times (almost daily) when I doubt my decisions.  But when I offer those feelings up to God, He is always faithful to give me strength to know that I am doing His will and He is walking in it with me.

It's funny because watching my son on his birthday...the joy on his face when he opened his present (yes one).  It was like looking in a mirror at the joy I now feel with the gift that God has given me.  I am so thankful to be one of His children.  To know His love, kindness, faithfulness, and grace!  With all the changes Carter has made in the last two years, I'm reminded still of the changes I've made in the last two years (or rather the changes God has made in my heart) and I feel that same sense of joy.  I so look forward to seeing what changes will come in the next year in Carter.  I look forward to seeing how much he grows and, deep down, I also look forward to seeing how God will chose to shape and mold me in the coming year and how He will step up to help me through the coming changes :)


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MONKEY!  You are such a blessing in my life and I am so excited to see what you'll do in the coming months and years :)  I love you with all my heart and I hope you can always see that.

Feelings vs. Duty

Our family is going through a transition...and it's come upon us more quickly than I had anticipated.  We are transitioning into a VERY busy time.  Not that our life is anywhere near placid, but now it's starting to look almost frantic.  My husband is applying for seminary for the spring, we are both taking classes this fall, I just got a part-time job one day a week, the Good News Club our church sponsors is beginning again, and our boys will be turning 2 and 1 in August and October (respectively).  Add to the heavy load the fact that our classes, my job, and the Good News Club all start the same week (coincidentally the week of Monkey's 2nd birthday) and you have a recipe for disaster!  Oh, and all this on top of our regular responsibilities to jobs/church groups.

It has become clear to me in the last few days that this isn't just going to happen...at least the transition won't be anything but horrible without a little planning and change of attitude for me.  I need to have a plan...a plan for how to accomplish my primary job as wife/mother/home manager without feeling too overwhelmed, plans for what we will eat on days I'm too tired to cook, and a plan on how to organize my days/weeks that will make this transition easier on my kids.

The other major change is something that needs to happen quickly, and I'm very lucky that God has already begun this work in my heart.  I need to change how I approach life.  Wow.  Writing it out makes is sound impossible, but I'm thankful that I don't have to tackle the task alone!

As a woman (yes, I am saying that men and women are different...please don't hate me) I have fallen into the easy task of allowing my feelings to dictate much of my day/life.  As a single lady, it didn't matter.  I could do whatever I wanted as long as I still was able to pay my bills.  As a married woman, there was a bit more accountability and responsibilities began increasing, but it wasn't a whole lot different.  Becoming a mother...well that changed things much more significantly.  I had a tiny person who depended on me for EVERYTHING..and that's a sobering reality.  I couldn't just sleep in because I felt like it...no, I needed to get up or the baby couldn't eat.  I couldn't just lay around all day eating ice cream or watching tv or forget to eat all day because there was a little one that I was a) needing to provide nourishment to via breastmilk and b) I needed to set an example for my kids.  SO my life started to shift from being lived based on my feelings to being lived based on a sense of duty and responsibility.

This point hit home the other day when James and I were watching Mark Gungor talking about the feminization of men in our society (check out this article for his input and this article for more evidence).  Now while this argument is aimed at men, I felt that this was important for me to remember also...not to such a high degree as a man (because, let's face it, many women are improved by being attentive to their feelings) but it's important for me to remember that I also have a responsibility.  If I sat around all day online and didn't pick up after the kids, clean up messes, or go to the store and James came home and got upset that I had been home all day and hadn't accomplished anything...well it would be a little ridiculous for me to cry to him that I didn't feel like it and he shouldn't get upset about that.  It would be like your boss getting upset that you didn't accomplish anything all day at work and then you getting upset with him for yelling at you.  Don't you think you maybe deserved a little frustration on the part of your boss/spouse?

So I need to be more honest with myself.  While I may not *feel* like cleaning after I get off work, or cooking ahead when I have free time.  Doing so will make my days and weeks run much more smoothly.  Being aware that I have a duty to these commitments is paramount!  I think that feeling like doing these things will come after a while, and all the better!  But until that magic time comes...I'm heading into a time where I will be responsible because I have a duty...to plan ahead because that's what's best for my family...whether I feel like it or not.

Do you ever feel this way?

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my struggle with healthy eating and how easily I become frustrated that I'm not doing more (you can read it here).  The last few weeks have been so amazing in how God has spoken to my heart and confirmed that I am, indeed, on the path He desires of me.  Here are a few posts from other bloggers abouts similar issues...not all of them are at the same place I am in our healthy eating journey, but I have found all of these posts to be helpful to me.  They all acknowledge that there are different levels of healthy and that not all people are in the same place.

Luke @ Losing Luke

Emily @ Wegener Family

Laura @ Heavenly Homemakers

Lynn @ Lynn's Kitchen Adventures

In another amazing way, my fears and doubts about the things I feed my family have been quelled.  God keeps introducing one certain verse (in very different ways) about how He is in control...and it has been so comforting!

For VBS this year (I work in the pre-k room) we are focused on James 1:5 as our verse.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ~ James 1:5

This verse keeps popping up in odd ways.  The other day it was the verse of the day in my email and today I found it on another blog (here).  Though neither have been in reference to food choices, they have both confirmed to me that this is a concept God wants in my life right now and that is a really comforting thought!

Laying Open my Heart: One of Many Struggles

They say that "ignorance is bliss".  Now I don't know who "they" are, but I feel like I do understand that sentiment, especially when I learn something new that I want to pursue but there are a million roadblocks in my way.  In general this is how I feel about eating well.  I don't mean dieting or eating low-fat, but really nourishing my family with good foods that aren't processed or contaminated.  This issue may not apply to a lot of people because you either don't care, don't believe it, or don't have a problem implementing it.  But this weighs on my mind weekly if not daily.  I want to feed my family the best possible food I can.  I want my boys to be healthy and strong and smart.  Heck, I want to be healthy and strong and smart.  But sometimes my goals and plans don't line up with where I am in life right now.  I'm definitely not healthy or strong...I can agree with some that I'm kinda smart (but I'm no genius by any means).  Being a parent has really changed my feelings about nutrition. We know more now than we did when I was growing up and my kids generation will know even more...it's just the way we, as humans, are...we crave to know more, to dig deeper, and to understand.

For me, I really feel that eating a whole foods diet is healthy (I think few would compete with that statement).  I believe that eating organic is important in most aspects, that making your own things like bread is important (because of limiting chemicals and preservatives), and I think raw milk is great!  Unfortunately, I'm not a millionaire--I know you're shocked, but it's true.  I don't have unlimited funds available to buy meat straight from my local farmer or raw milk up the road...and even if I did, well do you know how expensive that can be?  And therein lies my dilemma...the one I struggle with.  Knowing what is most important RIGHT NOW, in the place God has me NOW, and knowing what it is that God has charged me with.  

That probably sounds weird, let me try to explain.  I feel passionately about feeding my family the best food possible, but what I don't feel passionately about is going broke doing it.  It would make me a poor steward of my families resources to ignore the balance in our bank account and spend all of our money on better food.  You might think I'm being extreme about how much it would cost or underestimating the importance of good food on our nutrition, but the honest lay-it-all-out-there-for-the-world-to-see truth is that our budget for food every month is slightly less than it would be on food stamps...I have a grand total of $320 to spend on food, toiletries, household products, dog food, and all 4 members of our family.  It's tough, it's a stretch, and that number actually includes a generous increase that I finagled when we decided Carter needed to eat gluten free (not a cheap option)--before two weeks ago our monthly budget was only $220. Its frustrating!

This amount of money can only be stretched so far.  We don't always do a good job of sticking to our budget, but we definitely feel it elsewhere if we don't.  And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has called me--as a stay-at-home wife and mother--to do everything possible to keep us on track.  It is my responsibility to ensure that we have enough food in the house to feed us all as well as finding unique ways to make up for any shortfalls.  If I don't do this, then I am not only disappointing my family, but I know I am disappointing my Heavenly Father.  This is what he has called me to...it's not always fun, it's very often frustrating, and I don't know how I make it sometimes.  Coveting others grocery budgets is something I have to keep in check quite often.

I don't talk to many about how much I spend on groceries and I do my best to make sure that we still get to use a good portion of that for ministry opportunities (inviting people over to our house to share a meal, taking someone food when they're sick, eating out occasionally in fellowship with our church family, etc.).  Ministry is very important to us and I joke that my spiritual gift is cooking :).  God has demanded us to be open to these opportunities to fellowship with others--believers and unbelievers alike.  It is important to us and a calling from God.  So that brings another aspect of my struggle to light.

How do I justify spending my small budget on others?
God has asked me to.  Can I really say no?  I guess I could, I could say to myself and others that we just don't have the money or it's more important to feed my family, but then I would be saying to God that he doesn't provide for us adequately and that is absolutely un-biblical!  God tells us in the Bible that He always provides for our needs.  If I say that I can't do something because of my own folly or poor stewardship that is one thing, but to claim that I "can't" because I don't have enough?  That is claiming that God is not who He said He was.

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

So that is where I stand, or usually kneel.  Dealing with my own frustrations and sinful thoughts, relying on God to reveal a better path for me.  I am so thankful for his grace and compassion.  I am also thankful for a wonderfully understanding and hard-working husband.  But this is my struggle...not the only one, but one that is prominent and I frequently have to return to God for strength in going on.  I can't let myself become mired down by what I *think* I should be doing, but to find strength that God can help me through it.

I hope that all who reading this will understand that it has been difficult to reveal this personal aspect of my life and will take that to heart before commenting.  I know that I am doing the Lord's work and I would be more than happy to have a more intimate conversation about this with you so feel free to email or (if you have my number) to call :)
I hope that in sharing these intimate struggles and thought, I can encourage other women--especially Christians--to step up and be willing to be more transparent with one another.  I don't think anyone has it ALL together and I certainly don't think we're meant to seem we do.  While it's important for us to seek joy and understanding in our situations, this doesn't always have be done in private or alone.  Please reach out to those around you and if someone comes to YOU with something weighing on their heart...please try and be Christ-like in your response.  God Bless!

Christian Women...a call to openness

I have a personal journey, we all do.  There are stories about my life that are nice and fun and silly and romantic. And then there are stories that aren't so nice, things that aren't fun, and others that are down right uncomfortable both for me to share and for others to hear.  What to do with these stories?  The ones we try so hard to make sure no one else sees.  This video touched me and I hope that you can find some level of yourself in her words (I found this video in this post on Rachel's blog, check it out for more inspiration on goals).

So how do we deal with this?  What do we share?  What is too personal to share in public or even with close friends?  These are questions I struggle with constantly.  I like to share some of my stories.  I like to think that what I went through means maybe someone else won't have to or will find comfort in the fact that they aren't alone.  I have met (in the last two years) two women who I was able to speak candidly with about one story.  Two women who, to my great shock, were both indirectly dealing with the same issue.  I would like to believe that I opened doors between them and myself that can create great and lasting bonds and friendships.  I hope that they can see that there is success/merit/value/hope in the situation of someone else going through the same struggle.

Do you have a story like this?  Do you struggle with wanting to seem "perfect" to those around you?

I have found that Christian's seem the worst at this!  I had many friends in high school whose entire goal in life was to see who had it worst!  Whose day was worse...whose parents were the worst...who had it so bad that no one could possibly feel anything but pity for their situation.  What time I wasted in those feelings!  On the other hand...I know that I've been guilty of going to church and trying to seem like everything is completely normal/together/fine when I feel like my whole world is crashing down.  We all struggle with things--small and large--and you would think that your church family would be the ones most likely to be compassionate.  Of course we all know the reality is that they are people just like anyone else.  People who can be judgmental, back-biting, ugly, and mean.  But do we give them the benefit of the doubt?  Do we give  people a chance to show their Christian compassion?  A chance to show us Christ-like love?  Or do we stay quiet, wishing someone would ask just the right question or make the right statement to let us know that they will be understanding.

I'm going to try something new here.  I'm going to share with the world something that I struggle with daily.  It may not be a big deal to you, though it is to me, but I hope that it will inspire others out there to share more of themselves and for a way for us to step up as Christians and be loving and kind to one another...to offer support...and maybe we might even realize that we are nowhere near alone in our struggles.  I want this to be important, not just something I throw out, so please come back on Friday when I plan on sharing my story.  It won't be anything earth shattering like a drug addiction, affair, or anything else you might think of when you hear the word 'confession'.  But I hope that it will inspire!

Therefore, confess your sings to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

James 5:16

The Llama Mama Speaks

My son's favorite book is Llama, Llama Red Pajama.  We read it every...single...day.  Sometimes more than once.  He loves the whole book (except the page that suggests that the mama llama might be gone, so we skip that one).  It really amazes me sometimes how much our everyday circumstances can be impacted by something to trivial as a children's book.  It amazes me that God can speak into our lives comforting words through simple writing and illustration...it doesn't have to be something intricate and complex for us to learn a lesson.  That blows my mind!

Anyway, this book has become the inspiration for my blog.  My favorite part of the book is near the end. The mama llama comes back to baby llama's room and says, "Baby llama don't you know, mama llama loves you so.  Mama llama's always near, even if she's not right here."  Wow.

Does that speak to anyone else?  It amazes me in two ways.  1) How shockingly accurate that thought represents how I feel about my own children and 2) how amazing it is that that is how God feels about us as well!  It's such a great feeling :).  This passage also reminds me to be patient.  God is always near, seeking to give me the desires of my heart, but in his own time.  I suppose one day I will have to thank my son for his immense love of this book and explain all the wonderful ways he has blessed my life!